Can I help you? Do you want me to help you?

[pavarian]

Had a rather hilarious phone conversation with the customer service rep at UOB today. Before this, let me just say that if you think american banks have retarded customer service or security systems, you have NEVER tried a singaporean bank. They are practically stuck in the middle ages in comparison. They still use some form of primitive 2-factor authentication, for one. It's this ridiculous little token that, when you press a button, generates a number which you have to key in AFTER your password just to get into your account. Which means you have to continue carrying that dongle around whenever you want to log into your account. It is also alot more trouble than its worth, just in case you were thinking that is a bloody cool idea. Well, you're wrong. The system utterly failed me today:

Me: *types in password and username and hits enter*
Webpg: Hello! We are using 2-factor authentication! Please enter it now!
Me: *whips out token in triumph and types long string of numbers in* - i was actually extremely proud of myself for remembering to bring it all the way back to the states.
Webpg: Ahh. But no. You see, this token you have, IT IS EXPIRED! BAD! UTTERLY USELESS! Sorry old chap, you'll have to get a new one. (obviously the webpage doesn't say that. I blame the annoying britishness of this on too much fanfiction and one paisley!Eames =_=)
Me: WHAT THE----- *whips out phone and dials long string of numbers back to bloody singaporean customer service*

..

Illegally cheerful and annoying rep (hereafter called ICAAR): HELLO! HOW MAY I HELP YOU??? (also, please imagine everything she says in a very bad, exagerrated singlish accent. It helps the comedy)
Me: Er. Right. *figuratively backs up a little from the rainbow sparks spilling from the phone* I need help getting my token to work. It's telling me it's expired or broken.
ICAAR: Oh! I see! Well, Ms F---, I have a question for you okay, did you access your account more than 6 months ago?
Me: *nervous laughter* um, yeah, *koff*morelikeayear*koff*
ICAAR: Orrrrh see lah, that is why. Because you never login. That's why I suggest right, you must login once a month so this will not happen. So now right, Ms F--- you must fill in the Update Form and send it back to us with your token. We will send it back to you in 2 weeks after we have re-synced it with the system.
Me: What?! No one told me I had to do this monthly! Isn't it supposed to remain working forever or something?!!!! Anyway, can't you like, remotely resync this or something?!
ICAAR: No, Ms F----, you cannot. You have to fill in the Update Form and send it back to us with your token. We will send it back to you in 2 weeks after we have re-synced it with the system. (yes she literally re-quoted the damn thing back at me. =_=)

Me:...
ICAAR: Do you understand anot? Do you see where I'm coming from, Ms F-----? (I wanted to smack her about here. =_=)
Me: Yes I understand what you're saying. It's just - i can't send the token back right now and I really need to access my account so is there any way you can fix this.
ICAAR: Of course! Ms F-----! I can help you! Don't Worry!
Me: Right so c--
ICAAR: Do you want me to help you? Can I help you?
Me; *facepalms* (like seriously. customer svc is asking if i want them to help me) Yes! OF COURSE i want you to help me. =_=
ICAAR: Ok so, before i help you right, I want you to know that i only can help you a bit one. Only can give you your bank balance. I cannot help you pay bills.
Me: (oh for the love of g--) what. I can already see my balance, I just need the thing to work so I can pay a bill!!!!!!
ICAAR: *extremely serious* Oh no no no Ms F--- I cannot do that.
Me: *trying hard not to laugh hysterically on phone here* Ok, you know what, nevermind. I'll, figure something out. Thanks anyway. Bye.
ICCAR: YOU HAVE A VERY GOOD DAY! THANK YOU BYE~!

Why so fail. Why. =_=

==

On other things, been rather busy lately - my office had a bit of a personnel shuffle, and I somehow found myself saddled with the responsibility of being team lead and the neighbourhood aunt aggie/mediator of a bunch of shop floor workers. On top of managing a number of investigations that have ballooned beyond control because now everyone in the company have to file issues, one per month even. That means yours truly has to investigate said issues, and frankly, if i see that manila and blue webpage interface to manage said issues again, i'm going to cut someone.

On top of that, boss has given me an ultimatum to finish a bunch of projects. Also, i have japanese class after work. In other words, well and truly fucked =_=

Have also realized a few things:

1. shop floor people play a rather interesting type of power struggle. It's nothing like the stuff in law dramas; in fact more towards the type of high school/playground politics like, 'i don't like him. i don't wanna work with him'. Or 'i have finished all the work you've asked me. can i get a promotion now?'. Honey, if promotions are really treats like you think, a lot more people would be happy as beavers working right now. lol
2. The person or persons who have had any part in designing all the blasted web interfaces for my company's systems were likely drunk or high. They also ought to be shot. Or made to navigate 1980s webpages over and over till they die. ARGH.
3. I hate people. ;_;